It is often an endeavour for women who are doing things at their pace and in their own way to step back and think of having a baby. Instinctively, our mind defaults to the known variables and thoughts - I will have to compromise, there shall be a break in life, what all will I have to give up etc.
By the grace of God, I found my calling very early on in PMR, a baton passed over from my father which I have now been spearheading for many years. With a job that makes me travel extensively and explore the world, in more ways imaginable, I had a perfect set up and was leading a life full of enjoyment and happiness with my family. In the background, however, the simmering thought of how challenging and difficult having a baby would be continued to linger. Having PMR by my side, my love, loyalty and passion had always been dedicated to the company - how would I make a place for the second one or more importantly was it even possible to feel so much love all over again?
On January 5th, 2018 everything changed for me and I knew my life would never be the same again. There was a tiny life within me, whose essence wasn’t yet felt but the impact was! My doctor placed me on complete bed rest for my first trimester to manage the risks of what he said would be a high-risk pregnancy. For someone who's last idle day at home was over a decade ago, this was a daunting task as any! But I steeled myself and marked my calendar, comforting myself with that fact that I shall enjoy my pregnancy and shall resume travel and work. As time went by, I did go to the office and meet with clients in a very limited capacity. Personal turmoils lingered, however, with my father suffering from a stroke and needing an angioplasty. But all went by and I was ready to welcome the second trimester with all positivity - I thought the difficult bit was over.
To my surprise, I was diagnosed with a severe issue with my cervix, and I could have gone into labour anytime had it not been detected. That led to a mid-pregnancy surgery with a prognosis of being on complete bed rest without even sitting up to work for the rest of my pregnancy! I was in shock and reeling toward depression! Entrepreneurship imbibes you with strength, determination, to take risks and to fight for your dreams - but it doesn’t prepare anyone for motherhood! And so it happened that for the first time I had to sit back and take a 'break' from my work and yet had to stay positive. I remember looking at the clock restlessly from dawn to dusk, to see the day through and cross off on the calendar. To mitigate things, I used to call my team at home to discuss individual cases and issues, but I knew this year would not be the same as other years and I will have to let time pass. The service industry is an unexpected journey that you take every day, some of the challenges are unforeseen and they do affect in the long term.
However time passed, and we were blessed with a beautiful angel in August. She was a pre-term baby but the fight in her was undeniable as she came out healthy and hearty. I had gained 32 kgs with several stitches and major health hazards - a literal toll on my body. I had forgotten how to walk normally, my gait had changed, how to eat normally. I had thought I may never be able to go back with the same energy and strength and all my presupposed apprehensions about post-pregnancy life were resurfacing. But to my surprise, I think God had different plans and so did Samaira! We both were ready to go to work on Day 32. It’s incredible how motherhood has given me double the strength to go for my dreams and live my life unapologetically as I feel I owe this to my baby and my husband, who believe in me abundantly and are supporting me immensely. Samaira is now 6 months today, with 12 trips, 2 conferences,16 meetings and many more wonderful days at the office under her belt where we work and play. I always knew this was the way I would have wanted things, and I am glad it worked out. I am not sure why women are asked to make a choice between their passions and a child. There cannot be a choice, why can’t a woman have it all if she is prepared for it and really wants it?
The society around us stereotypes a lot of things but I am grateful for my family who did not subscribe to that school of thought! Thank god for Samaira, who is today, the biggest inspiration of my life, and while everything revolves around her, but she knows it already that she would always be my second baby and PMR will always be my first 😊
