“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” ~ Lewis B. Smedes
As a leader, I come across several tales on a day-to-day basis where things haven’t gone as planned. Just like a relay race where with the slowing down of one participant, we lose the race! Similarly, running an organization is also akin to such a race, one department misses out on something and the end result is chaotic. But it’s important to stay calm and keep motivating people to bring out the best in them and more importantly learn to forgive and move on.
If happiness and quality of life are your goals towards progress, one element that needs your important intervention is the art of forgiveness. Here are some strategies you could follow to that same end:
Stop Punishing Yourself:
When it comes to forgiveness, the key lesson to be learned is that it is for your benefit as much as the person you are forgiving. But continuing holding on to emotional baggage and grudges, you are only tainting your own peace of mind. This could not only affect your mental well being but could also manifest in physical diseases, where the cause is psychosomatic. Think of it this way - whoever did the act that hurt you is now disconnected to your situation. Any thoughts or emotions that fester are now within you. So learn to forgive to stop punishing yourself.
Being Empathetic Fosters Forgiveness:
Better and lasting relationships can only be forged once we work at them through the space of empathy. Research suggests that empathetic approaches to tough situations help us in rationalizing our pain and hurt in a more humane way. Put yourself in another person's shoe and try to re-assess the situation. Even if you cannot understand why the personal reacted a certain way, this empathetic approach will help you recognize the feelings or experiences which triggered his/her hurtful behaviour.
Introspect & Move On:
When you are emotionally vulnerable or distraught, it is important to introspect and visualize the scope of the situation improving. While it is easier said than done, forgiveness cuts through the mire of revenge, stress, and grudges and lets us analyze the situation from an objective perspective. Not only does this augment the spirit, but it also lets us move on, which is in itself the most important lesson to be taken away from a tough situation. Inoculate yourself against such future interactions by learning how to cope with them in the present.
Forgiveness As An Attitude To Life:
Make forgiveness a part of your approach to life. This does not mean being naive or forgetting some of the things that have hurt you - no. To truly forgive is to acknowledge what went wrong, process through those emotions and move forward. This will ensure that in the future you do not feel culpable for holding on to pain and that you let go of hatred, instead of allowing it to eat at you.
